5 Jokes a day Keeps Doctor Away!

If you want to reduce the number of unnecessary files on your hard disk to free up disk space and help your computer run faster, use Disk Cleanup. It removes temporary files, empties the Recycle Bin, and removes a variety of system files and other items that you no longer need.

1. Open Disk Cleanup by clicking the Start button Picture of the Start button, clicking All Programs, clicking Accessories, clicking System Tools, and then clicking Disk Cleanup.

2. In the Disk Cleanup Options dialog box, choose whether you want to clean up your own files only or all of the files on the computer. Administrator permission required If you are prompted for an administrator password or confirmation, type the password or provide confirmation.

3. If the Disk Cleanup: Drive Selection dialog box appears, select the hard disk drive that you want to clean up, and then click OK.

4. Click the Disk Cleanup tab, and then select the check boxes for the files you want to delete.

5. When you finish selecting the files you want to delete, click OK, and then click Delete files to confirm the operation. Disk Cleanup proceeds to remove all unnecessary files from your computer.

The More Options tab is available when you choose to clean files from all users on the computer. This tab includes two additional ways to free even more disk space:

• Programs and Features. Opens Programs and Features in Control Panel, where you can uninstall programs that you no longer use. The Size column in Programs and Features shows how much disk space each program uses.

• System Restore and Shadow Copies. Prompts you to delete all but the most recent restore point on the disk.

System Restore uses restore points to return your system files to an earlier point in time. If your computer is running normally, you can save disk space by deleting the earlier restore points.

In some editions of Windows Vista, restore points can include previous versions of files, known as shadow copies, and backup images created with Windows Complete PC Backup. This information will also be deleted .

In order to use the Internet Explorer (IE) effectively, we have some basic tips for you to try…

   1. To extend the window area of the IE, you can make it easy by pressing the F11 key. Then you press it again in order to return the IE to the normal window.

   2. Sometimes you want to search a keyword in a long web page that you are surfing. How do you do ?? Just press Ctrl+F and place the keyword you want.

   3. Using Backspace key in your keyboard instead of clicking Back in the IE window.

   4. You can close your IE window that you are surfing by Ctrl+W.

   5. To see the surfing websites history, Press F4 key to see the URL which you have typed.

   6. Press Ctrl+D in order to save the url which you are surfing. And the url will be in the Favorites.

   7. To send a web page to your friend. Do you know we can send it by email from the IE’s tools ? Let you try it, go to File > Send > Page by E-mail…

   8. To slide the web page by using the keyboard, try it with the arrow keys. To slide it to the bottom and the top of the web page, try the End and Home key.

   9. If you find a picture that you prefer it to be the desktop wallpaper, you can immediately set it, right click on the picture area and select the Set as wallpaper.

   10. To slide the web page gradually, you may use the Page up,
Page down and Spacebar keys. Try it !

Play to pass the leisure time in a joyful manner…

Download the Free game :

 Car-Parking

Have Fun!

Men and women on earth die and go to heaven.

“I want the men to form two queues, one line for the men who had control

over their women, and the other one for the men who were controlled by

their women. Also, I want all the women to go away so that no man and

woman can talk.”

Next time God comes back, the women are gone, and there are two lines.

The line for the men who were controlled by their women is 100 miles long,

and in the line of men who had control over their women there is only one

man.

God gets mad and says, “You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created

you in my image, and you were all controlled by your mates. Look at the

only one of my sons who stood up and made me proud. Learn from him!”

“Tell them, my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?”

The man replies, “I don’t know, my wife told me to stand here.”

I never believed in it but now I think it works:Said in the Hindi movie  “OM Shanti OM”

“Agar kissi ko sache dil se Chao, to puri qaynaat use tumse milane mein lag jaati hai.”

Now modified version by my: “Agar kissi ko sache dil se Chao and uska dindhora peet do duniya bhar bher mein, to puri qaynaat use tumse milane mein lag jaati hai,  ”

Something similar happened to me: I came to CANADA last time that’s during winter Dec 2007 on the official trip with lots of dreams in the eyes, that I ‘ll see the snowfall which has always attracted me like anything.
Out of all the natural beauties, this is what was missing from my “To be Seen” list.

But Fortunately or Unfortunately I had to go back from Canada in the end of April 2008, The time when actually spring season start
know as best season to have fun here. I even heard that people over here go crazy during this season and live life as if they are in heaven.

That time I wish, hope I get the chance to come here again during spring season with a very little idea, that I would get the chance to come back. I do have the hope alive for the same.

And Yes I did get the chance and I think that’s the reason why I m writing again something from my inner core of the heart. WhateverI heard in my last visit turned out to be absolutely correct. I too had a very good time, saw all those places about which I even didn’t know before actually seeing them.

Now again the time has come to leave Canada and go back to home country, so what’s my new wish? Do I have one?
So the answer is Yes

My wish:

“Someone special is waiting for me ”

Again I m keeping the hope alive.

1. (Whatever)
Men: What to have for dinner?
Women: Whatever..
Men: Why not we have steamboat?
Women: Don’t want, eat steamboat later got pimples in my face
Men: Alright, why not we have Si Chuan cuisine
Women: Yesterday ate Si Chuan, today eat again?
Men: Hmm….. I suggest we have seafood
Women: Seafood no good, later I got diarrhea
Men: Then what you suggest?
Women : Whatever..
 
 
2. (Anything)
Men: So what should we do now?
Women: Anything
Men: How about watching movie? Long time we didn’t watch movie
Women: Watching movie no good, waste time only
Men: How about we play bowling, do some exercises?
Women: Exercise in such hot day? You not feel tire meh?
Men: Then find a café and have drink
Women: Drink coffee will affect my sleep
Men: Then what you suggest?
Women: Anything
 
 
3. (You decide)
Men: Then we just go home
Women: You decide
Men: Let take bus, I will accompany you
Women: Bus is dirty and crowded. Don’t want
Men: Ok we will take Taxi
Women: Not worth it… for such a short distance
Men: Alright, then we walk. Take a slow walk
Women: What to walk with empty stomach woh?
Men: Then what you suggest?
Women: You decide
Men: Let’s have dinner first
Women: Whatever…
Men: Eat what?
Women: Anything

Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee.

Doctors’ Law
If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better. Don’t make an appointment and you’ll stay sick…

Put about 100 bricks in some
particular order in a closed
room with an
open window.

Then send 2 or 3 candidates in
the room and close the door.

Leave them alone and come back
after 6 hours and then analyze
the  situation.

If they are counting the
bricks.
Put them in the accounts
department.

If they are recounting them..
Put them in auditing.

If they have messed up the
whole place with the bricks.
Put them in engineering.

If they are arranging the
bricks in some strange order.
Put them in planning.

If they are throwing the
bricks at each other.
Put them in operations.

If they are sleeping.
Put them in security.

If they have broken the bricks
into pieces.
Put them in information
technology.

If they are sitting idle.
Put them in human resources.

If they say they have tried
different combinations, yet
not a brick has
been moved. Put them in sales.

If they have already left for
the day.
Put them in marketing.

If they are staring out of the
window.
Put them on strategic
planning.

And then last but not least.
If they are talking to each
other and not a single brick
has been
moved.

Congratulate them and put them
in top management.
 

Beggar: Saab 12Rs do na coffee peeni hai.
Man: Lekin coffee to 6Rs ki hai?
Beggar: Par saab girlfrend bhi to hai.
Man: Bhikari hokar bhi GF banali.
Beggar: Na saab,GF ne Bhikari bana diya!

Ek samay ki bat hai, Mata Lakshmi ji ka ULLU unse rooth gaya aur bola, ‘Apki sab puja karte hain, mujhe koi nahin puchhta’
Lakshmi ji boli: Ab se har sal meri puja se 8-10 din pehle tumhari puja hogi. Us din Ullu puje jayenge.
Tabhi se Diwali k pehle us din ko KARWA CHAUTH keh kar manaya jata hai!

10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving. Which makes it a logical statement that 90% of
accidentsarer due to driving without drinking! Piyo Sar Utha Ke!
A Solid reason for having two girlfriends at one time: Monopoly is always damaging & Competition improves service!

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The  waitress asks him for his order.
The man says, ‘A hamburger, fries and a coke,’ and turns to the ostrich, ‘What’s yours?’ ‘I’ll have the same,’ says the ostrich.

 A short time later the waitress returns with the order ‘That’ll be $9.40 please,’ and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

 The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, ‘A hamburger, fries and a coke.’The ostrich says, ‘I’ll have the same.’
Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

 This becomes routine until the two enter again.
‘The usual?’ asks the waitress.
‘No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad,’ says the man. ‘Same,’ says the ostrich.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, ‘That will be $32.62.’
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on  the table.
The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. ‘Excuse me sir.
How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket  every time?’
‘Well,’ says the man, ’several years ago I was cleaning the attic and  found an old lamp. When I rubbed it,a Genie appeared and offered me two  wishes.

 My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just  put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be  there.’

 ‘That’s brilliant!’ says the waitress. ‘Most people would ask for a  million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want for as  long as you live!’

 ‘That’s right. Whether it’s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,’ says the man.
The waitress asks, ‘What’s with the ostrich?’  

 The man sighs, pauses and answers, ‘My second wish was for a tall chick with a long legs who agrees with everything I say.’