5 Jokes a day Keeps Doctor Away!

1)Sleep your computer when you’re not using it.
2)Wash laundry in cold water instead of hot or warm while using Washing Machine.
3)Be sure to turn off lights when you leave a room.
4)Turn off machines when you leave a room (examples include TV’s,TV computers, radios, stereos, video games, VCR’s, and DVD players).
5)Keep doors and windows closed when heat or air conditioning is on.
6)Replace regular light bulbs with compact fluorescents bulbs.
7)Make sure Fridge is out of direct sunlight and not close to the oven. It is best to keep it against an outside wall so that the heat it generates can escape easily, and always make sure that there is a few inches space all around the fridge so that air can circulate.Never put warm or hot food into the fridge.
8)Try and prepare several food dishes in the oven together.
9)Always wash full loads of clothing rather than smaller ones. Try and use cold water for washing and rinsing the clothes.
10)Use laptop instead of a desktop, if practical. It consumes five times less electricity.

Happy Saving!!

A Pathan furniture dealer decided that he wanted to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris to see what he could find. After arriving in Paris (this being his first trip ever to the French capital), he met with some manufacturers and finally selected a new range of furniture that he thought would sell well back home in India.

To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a pub and have a glass of wine.

As he sat down enjoying his wine, soon enough, a very beautiful attractive young lady came to his table, asked him something in French (which he did not understand), and motioned towards the chair.

He invited her to sit down. He tried to speak to her in Hindi, Urdu & English, but she did not speak or know any of these languages. So, after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her. She nodded, and he ordered a glass of wine for her.

After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded.

They left the pub and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music. They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up.

Then, after they were back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a bed. Would you believe…

Till this day, the Pathan has no idea how she figured out that he was in the furniture business!!!!!

Some Windows Vista errors are caused by corrupt system files causing instabilities, but troubleshooting these problems manually can be almost impossible. Thankfully, Vista includes a “System File Checker” application that will verify the integrity of core system files.

There are 2 types of scan, a verification and a scan/repair mode. The former will only check the files without repairing them automatically, the latter will fix any errors it finds.

To begin, load the command prompt by starting “cmd” from the run box (Press WINDOWS KEY + R to access this):

Then, type in one of the following commands (followed by the enter key) depending on the type of scan you wish to perform:

• sfc /verifyonly - To verify any corrupt files only.
• sfc /scannow - To verify and fix any corrupt files.

This will then start the scan and inform you of any files that require fixing

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Doctor: Ab aapki tabiyat kaisi hai ?

Patient: Doctor saheb.. Pahle se jyada kharab ho gayi hai.

Doctor: dawai khali thi kya ?

Patient : Nahi doctor saheb. Dawai ki shishi to bhari hui thi.

Doctor: Arey… mere kahne ka matlab hai ki, dawai le li thi kya.

Patient: Ji, aapne dawai de di thi aur Maine le li thi.

Doctor: Abe, dawai pili thi kya ?

Patient: Oho, nahi doctor saheb dawai to laal thi.

Doctor: Abe GADHE, Dawai KO piliya tha kya ?

Patient : Nahi. Doctor, Piliya to mujhe tha.

Doctor: Abe Teri to, Dawai KO muh lagakar Pet me dala tha k nahi ?

Patient: Nahi doctor saheb.

Doctor: Kyon ?

Patient: Kyonki dhakkan band tha.

Doctor: Teri to sale, to Khola kyon nahi.

Patient: Saheb, aapne hi to kaha tha ki, shishi ka dhakkan band rakhna.

Doctor: Tera ilaaz main nahi kar sakta !

Patient: Accha Doctor saheb ye to bata do ki main thik kaise hounga

Doctor : Abe teri …….
———————————————————————————————-
Naukarani Ne Sushila Se Kaha, Memsahab Gajab Ho Gaya.
Pados Ki Teen Auraten Aap Ki Saas Ko Peet Rahi Hain.

Sushila Naukarani Ke Sath Balakani Se Aayi Aur Chupchap
Tamasha Dekhane Lagi.Naukarani Ne Pucha, Aap Madad
Karane Nahi Jayengi ?

Sushila - Nahi Teen Hi Kaafi Hain.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
once there was an accident where the car driver hit the parrot.
The parrot faints, so the driver takes the parrot to his home ,
gives first aid to it and then puts it in a cage with some food .
When the parrot wakes up . in a shock it tells
“aila!! jail!!!!!! gadi wala mar gaya kya????”

——————————————————————————–
Jinn: Hukam aaka ?
Man: Ghar se dubai tak road banani hai
Jinn: Mushkil hai aur koi kaam bataiye
Man: Meri biwi ko aagyakari aur samajhdar bana do.
Jinn: Road single banani hai ya dabule…..

********************************************************************
Wife: Ji apko mujhme kya achha lagta hai meri samajhdari ya meri beauty..

Husband: Mujhe to ye tumhari Majak karne ki aadat bahut achchhi lagti hai..

__________________________________________________________________
Police ne raat ke 1 baje sharab ke nashe mein

tunn ek aadmi ko pakad kar puchha..

Raat ke ek baje tum Kahan ja rahe ho..?

Aadmi - Main sharab peene ke dush parinaam

per lecture sunne ja raha hun…

Police - Itni raat mein tumhe kaun lecture dega..?

Aadmi - Mere biwi…..

The best way to change or enlighten your mood to visit some new place , what could be better than visiting GOA.It becomes more interesting if place is visited with 100% utilization of time.This can happen only if everything about GOA is known in advance. So below are the required details:

Goa
Famous Beaches : Calangute, Colva, Dona Paula, Vagator
Famous Churches : Se Cathedral, Basilica of Born Jesus
When To Go : September - March

Goa is located on the west coast of India,in the region known as the Konkan, near the state of Maharashtra, The Arabian Sea makes up the state’s west coast. Panaji is the state’s capital,
and Vasco its largest town.

Those who haven’t visited Goa tend to imagine it as some kind of Indian Costa Brava
However, Goa, like everywhere in India, is never quite what you expect.

The main draws of Goa are the beaches and churches, such as

Anjuna Beach:
Location : 8 km west of Mapusa, 18 km NW of Panaji
Main Attraction : Anjuna Flea Market, Baga Hill
What To Do : Shopping, Photography, Snorkelling, Bungee Jumping

Colva Beach:
Location : 6 km east of Margao in South Goa
Main Attractions : Church of Our Lady of Merces and Shack Cafés
What To Do : Beach combing, Colva Walk

Vagator Beach:
Location : 10 km from Mapusa
Famous As : Holiday Beach Destination
What To See : Chapora Fort, Ozrant Beach, Chapora Village

DONA PAULA BEACH
Location : 7 km from Panjim, Goa
Famous As : Holiday Beach Destination
What To See : Zuari Bridge, National Oceanography Institute, Cabo Raj Bhawan
What To Do : Water-skiing, Parasailing, Snorkelling and Harpoon fishing!

SE CATHEDRAL
Location : Old Goa
Built In : 1562 AD
Style of Architecture : Manueline with Corinthian
Nearby Attractions : Chapel of the Blessed Sacrament, The Cross of Miracles

HOUSE AND BASILICA OF BOM JESUS
Location : Old Goa
Architectural Style : Renaissance & Baroque Style
Originally Built In : 1585
What To See : Intricate Craftsmenship, Statue of St. Francis Xavier, Professed House

CASINOS IN GOA
Famous Casinos : Chances Casino, Treasures Casino, Winners Casino,Caravela
Games To Play : Black Jack, Rummy, Stud Poker, Baccarat and Flash among others

GOA NIGHTLIFE
Hot Night Beach Shacks : Calangute, Candolim, Anjuna
Famous Night Hubs : Bob’s Inn, Cavala, Cabana
Timeline : 11 pm to 6 am

CRUISING THE ARABIAN SEA
Location : Ballard Pier, Mumbai
Cruise Itinerary : Mumbai-Lakshadweep-Goa-Mumbai
Timeline : Depending on the cruise you pick, could be anywhere between 1-4 nights

The strategic itinerary of the sea cruise is planned to suit every tourist.
Depending on your interests and budget, this could be anywhere between one to four nights.
A few of the most popular cruise itineraries are:

· Mumbai-Goa-High Seas-Goa-Mumbai (3 nights)
· Mumbai-Goa-Mumbai (2 nights)
· Mumbai-High Sea-Mumbai (1 night)
· Mumbai-Lakshadweep-Goa-Mumbai (4 nights)
· Mumbai-Lakshadweep-Mumbai (3 nights)

The most popular celebrations in Goa are Ganesh Chaturthi (Chavoth-Konkani), Diwali,
Christmas, Easter, Samsar Padvo, Shigmo and the Carnival.

Transport in Goa:
Goa’s public transport largely consists of privately operated buses linking the major towns to rural areas. Government-run buses, maintained the Kadamba Transport Corporation, links both major routes (like the Panjim–Margao route) and some remote parts of the state. In large towns such as Panjim and Margao, intra-city buses ply.

Languages:Konkani is the primary spoken language; Marathi and English are used for official,
literary, or educational purposes. Other languages include Hindi, Kannada and Portuguese.

Food:Rice with fish curry (Xit kodi in Konkani) is the staple diet in Goa.Coconut and coconut oil is widely used in Goan cooking along with chili peppers, spices and vinegar giving the food a unique flavour.Sannas a variant of idli and Koilori a variant of dosa are native to Goa.
A rich egg-based multi-layered sweet dish known as bebinca is a favourite at Christmas.
The most popular alcoholic beverage in Goa is feni; Cashew feni is made from the fermentation of the fruit of the cashew tree, while coconut feni is made from the sap of toddy palms.

Have a wonderful journey to GOA !

Would appreciate if you share your experience about your visit to GOA or any other wonderful place!!!

If you want to reduce the number of unnecessary files on your hard disk to free up disk space and help your computer run faster, use Disk Cleanup. It removes temporary files, empties the Recycle Bin, and removes a variety of system files and other items that you no longer need.

1. Open Disk Cleanup by clicking the Start button Picture of the Start button, clicking All Programs, clicking Accessories, clicking System Tools, and then clicking Disk Cleanup.

2. In the Disk Cleanup Options dialog box, choose whether you want to clean up your own files only or all of the files on the computer. Administrator permission required If you are prompted for an administrator password or confirmation, type the password or provide confirmation.

3. If the Disk Cleanup: Drive Selection dialog box appears, select the hard disk drive that you want to clean up, and then click OK.

4. Click the Disk Cleanup tab, and then select the check boxes for the files you want to delete.

5. When you finish selecting the files you want to delete, click OK, and then click Delete files to confirm the operation. Disk Cleanup proceeds to remove all unnecessary files from your computer.

The More Options tab is available when you choose to clean files from all users on the computer. This tab includes two additional ways to free even more disk space:

• Programs and Features. Opens Programs and Features in Control Panel, where you can uninstall programs that you no longer use. The Size column in Programs and Features shows how much disk space each program uses.

• System Restore and Shadow Copies. Prompts you to delete all but the most recent restore point on the disk.

System Restore uses restore points to return your system files to an earlier point in time. If your computer is running normally, you can save disk space by deleting the earlier restore points.

In some editions of Windows Vista, restore points can include previous versions of files, known as shadow copies, and backup images created with Windows Complete PC Backup. This information will also be deleted .

In order to use the Internet Explorer (IE) effectively, we have some basic tips for you to try…

   1. To extend the window area of the IE, you can make it easy by pressing the F11 key. Then you press it again in order to return the IE to the normal window.

   2. Sometimes you want to search a keyword in a long web page that you are surfing. How do you do ?? Just press Ctrl+F and place the keyword you want.

   3. Using Backspace key in your keyboard instead of clicking Back in the IE window.

   4. You can close your IE window that you are surfing by Ctrl+W.

   5. To see the surfing websites history, Press F4 key to see the URL which you have typed.

   6. Press Ctrl+D in order to save the url which you are surfing. And the url will be in the Favorites.

   7. To send a web page to your friend. Do you know we can send it by email from the IE’s tools ? Let you try it, go to File > Send > Page by E-mail…

   8. To slide the web page by using the keyboard, try it with the arrow keys. To slide it to the bottom and the top of the web page, try the End and Home key.

   9. If you find a picture that you prefer it to be the desktop wallpaper, you can immediately set it, right click on the picture area and select the Set as wallpaper.

   10. To slide the web page gradually, you may use the Page up,
Page down and Spacebar keys. Try it !

Play to pass the leisure time in a joyful manner…

Download the Free game :

 Car-Parking

Have Fun!

Men and women on earth die and go to heaven.

“I want the men to form two queues, one line for the men who had control

over their women, and the other one for the men who were controlled by

their women. Also, I want all the women to go away so that no man and

woman can talk.”

Next time God comes back, the women are gone, and there are two lines.

The line for the men who were controlled by their women is 100 miles long,

and in the line of men who had control over their women there is only one

man.

God gets mad and says, “You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created

you in my image, and you were all controlled by your mates. Look at the

only one of my sons who stood up and made me proud. Learn from him!”

“Tell them, my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?”

The man replies, “I don’t know, my wife told me to stand here.”