5 Jokes a day Keeps Doctor Away!

Actual telephone conversations with your friendly neighborhood tech support.

Customer: I’m trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn’t work. What am I doing wrong?
Tech support : OK, you’ve got the CD in the CD drive, right?
Customer: Yeah….
Tech support : And what sort of computer are you using?
Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven’t got a computer. It’s in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen…..
Tech support : Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!

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Tech support : What kind of computer do you have?
Customer : A white one…

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Tech support : Click on the ‘my computer’ icon on the left of the screen.

Customer: Your left or my left?

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Tech support : Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer : Hello… I can’t print.
Tech support : Would you click on “start” and…
Customer: Listen pal; don’t start getting technical on me! I’m not Bill Gates, damn it!

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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can’t print. Every time I try, it says ‘Can’t find printer’.

                   I’ve even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor,

                   But the computer still says he can’t find it…

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Customer : I have problems printing in red…
Tech support : Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah………………..thank you I forgot about that.
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Tech support : What’s on your monitor now, ma’am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.

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Customer : My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support : Are you sure it’s plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can’t get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support : Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support : That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there’s another one here. Ah…that one does work!

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Customer: I can’t get on the Internet.
Tech support : Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support : Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

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Tech support : How may I help you?
Customer: I’m writing my first e-mail.
Tech support : OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer : ! Well, I have the letter ‘a‘ in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support : Are you running it under windows?
Customer: “No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.”