5 Jokes a day Keeps Doctor Away!

Saade rang ko galti se aap naa kora samjho,
Isi mey samaaye indradhanushi saaton rang,
Jo dikhe aapko zindagi saadagi bhari kisi ki,
To aap yun samjho satrangi hai duniya usiki,
Holi aayi satrangi rango ki bouchar laayi,
Dher saari mithai aur mitha mitha pyar laayi,
Aap ki zindagi ho mithe pyar aur khusiyon se bhari,
Jisme samaaye saaton rang yahi shubhkamna hai hamaari.
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Lal, gulabi, neela, pila hathon me liya samet,
Holi ke din rangenge sajni, kar ke meethi bhent.

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Pichkari ki Dhar,
Gulal ki bauchar,
Apno ka pyar,
Yahi hai yaaron holi ka tyohar.
Happy Holi!!!!
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Rangon se bhi rangeen zindagi hai humari, rangeeli rahe yeh bandagi hai humari,
kabhi na bigde ye pyar ki rangoli, aye mere yaar aisi HAPPY HOLI.
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Gul ne gulshan se gulfam bheja hai,
Sitaro ne aasman se salaam bheja hai,
Mubaraq ho aapko holi ka tyohar,
Humne dil se yeh paigam bheja hai.
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Rango ke tyohar mein sabhi rango ki ho bharmar,
Dher saari khushiyon se bhara ho aapka sansar,
Yahi dua hai bhagwan se hamari har bar,
Holi Mubarak ho mere yaar!
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Khaa key gujiya, pee key bhaang, laaga ke thoda thoda sa rang,
baja ke dholak aur mridang, khele holi hum tere sang.
Holi Mubarak!
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Rango mein ghuli ladki kya laal gulabi hai
Jo dekhta hai kehta hai kya maal gulabi hai
Pichle baras tune jo bhigoya tha holi mein
Ab tak nishani ka woh rumaal gulabi hai.
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Chadenge jab pyare rang, ek meri dosti ka rang bhi chadhana.
Lagne lagenge tumhe suhane sare rang,
Aur meri dosti ka rang chamkega hurdum tumhare sang.
Bolo sarararara….
Wish you a very mastiful and colourful Happy Holi!
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Apun wishing you a wonderful,
Super-duper,
Zabardast,
Xtra-badhiya,
Xtra special,
Ekdum mast and dhinchak,
Bole to ekdum jhakaas
“Happy Holi”.

Some Windows Vista errors are caused by corrupt system files causing instabilities, but troubleshooting these problems manually can be almost impossible. Thankfully, Vista includes a “System File Checker” application that will verify the integrity of core system files.

There are 2 types of scan, a verification and a scan/repair mode. The former will only check the files without repairing them automatically, the latter will fix any errors it finds.

To begin, load the command prompt by starting “cmd” from the run box (Press WINDOWS KEY + R to access this):

Then, type in one of the following commands (followed by the enter key) depending on the type of scan you wish to perform:

• sfc /verifyonly - To verify any corrupt files only.
• sfc /scannow - To verify and fix any corrupt files.

This will then start the scan and inform you of any files that require fixing

I landed in Toronto in the first week of Dec 2007, very first sight for me was most of the land covered with snow, on the top that at immiration counter officer told me, still there is much more to see in future, that very statement of his filled me with lot of expectaions and yup he was absolutely right, a week after that only I get to see winter storm that was simply amazing with 15 cm of snowfall.

When I was leaving from India, most of my friends, colleauges told me that it’s not the right time to be in toronto as it would be very cold there, you won’t be able roam around and enjoy there, To some extent they were right, even I too was having the same notion in my mind, but now after being here for more than 2 months my view point has changed a bit, yup it’s true that most of the time it’s very cold outside, temperature could be between 0 to –30 degree celcius and on the topof it wind chill efect which makes it even more worse but that’s one of the reason which actually makes u explore the PATH which is being constructed underground walkway linking 27 kilometres of shopping, services and entertainment. It is the largest underground shopping complex with 27 km (16 miles) of shopping arcades. There are approximate 1200 shops inside it and more than 50 buildings/office towers are connected aur u can say a complete mini world consturcted underground which can only be belived only after u actually see it. Even after 2 months I ‘m sure I ‘ve not seen each every corner of the path.

Here are few of the snaps of the Path to give the feel of it:

Experince of snowfall that too so often can only be felt by being here. Thick layer of snow beside lake just drives me crazy. Few snaps to give u same feelings:

Now I ‘m eagerly waiting for spring weather, which is known to be as big tourist time here and hope would get the chance to see that also.

To be continued in the next post….

9:03 am
You get an SMS alert from your broker. The hot tip says you buy XYZ with stop loss at Rs 552. It also says price can go touch Rs 582 to Rs 595 intra-day.

9:32 am
You enter office and instantly onto ICICIdirect.com to view your holdings. You also check moneycontrol.com to read the pre-opening commentary.

10:03 am
The market is open and stock XYZ opened at 564, up 2 per cent to 575. It’s very close to the target of 582. So, you wait a bit for it to cool off. When you see the price hit 569, you buy 500 shares of XYZ at 569.20 each.

The trade value is approximately Rs 2.6 lakh (Rs 260,000), done with a limit provision of 6X, ie you have Rs 50,000 with the broker and thus your trade limit is Rs 3 lakh (Rs 300,000). Oops! Now it’s down to Rs 567 and you are losing Rs 1,000.

You decide to follow the wait-and-watch strategy as the stock is moving between 576 and 572. Here’s the plan: You decide to wait for it to touch 585, which will mean a gain of Rs 16. Then you’ll pocket a cool Rs 8,000 for 500 shares and walk home with a new Barbie set worth Rs 2,000 for your daughter.

11 am
You start work 90 minutes late! After checking a few e-mails, you have a quick peek at XYZ. Wow! It’s trading at Rs 574 and you are up Rs 2,500. You think: maybe I should quit and start doing this, full-time, from the cosy confines of home!

1:04 pm
Almost lunchtime, and you check the price of XYZ. Damn! It’s at Rs 546. If only you were watching, you would have been able to cut losses. That’s Rs 18 down and you are down by Rs 9,000.

1:40 pm
Post-lunch, you exchange some ‘hot tips’ with your colleague; he just bought 1,000 stocks of XYZ at Rs 555. He got a wind of some internal news that markets will move up and XYZ will hit Rs 580 in no time. You are happy to be privy to such inside information.

You want to average out your cost from Rs 569. You buy another 500 at Rs 557 and now your average price is Rs 563 and you place a sell limit of Rs 581. If this happens you make a Rs 18,000 profit for the day. That’s 25 per cent of your salary in just a day, phew!

You ask your boss if you can post-pone your meeting to 4 pm; the markets close by then!

2:41 pm
XYZ is now moving up and is at Rs 569, now. You are happy, confident that XYZ will make you rich today.

3:03 pm
XYZ is at Rs 566, the prices are coming down again and your heart is pounding. It’s now down to Rs 543. You don’t know what to do. Should you cut your losses or wait? Okay. Here’s another strategy — whatever the price is at 3:25 pm you will sell.

3:17 pm
XYZ is moving up again and is currently at Rs 557. Boss is calling and you are out of patience. So you sell 1000 shares at Rs 557. You lost Rs 6,000 based on your average price of Rs 563. But there’s always tomorrow.

4 pm
You are in a meeting with you boss, discussing the strategy for the quarter. But you are still thinking about XYZ; you have some unfinished business! You need to work late and file in reports.

4:30 pm
You are back at your desk. Your curiosity gets the better of you and you check the prices of XYZ. It has closed at 570. What a pity! Had the boss not called you, you would have ended in a plus today.

The verdict

That was a snapshot of a typical day in the life of a trader on the stock market trading is a zero sum game. One person wins while the other loses. But the addiction is immense, as the feeling of having a turnover of Rs 1 crore (Rs 10 million) in a month is overwhelming. Instead of spending time speculating, focus on the job at hand. Money will come your way, anyway.

Quick tips for working professionals

Dos:
1. Make an investment after due research.
2. Always have a long-term perspective.
3. Spread your investments wisely. Invest in stocks as well as mutual funds

Don’ts:
1. You cannot beat the markets, so don’t waste time trying to.
2. If you made money in day trading, someone else must have lost it. Don’t push your luck too far.
3. Don’t speculate.

Marriage!

Do not marry person that u know u can live with;

Only marry someone that u cannot live without.

Live Today!

There are two eternities in life that can really break u down.

Yesterday and Tommorow

One is gone and other that doesn’t exists, so live today.

TWO IT GUYS WERE CHATTING IN A PUB AFTER WORK.  “GUESS WHAT, MATE,” SAYS

THE FIRST IT GUY, “YESTERDAY, I MET THIS GORGEOUS BLONDE GIRL IN A BAR.”

“WHAT DID YOU DO?” SAYS THE OTHER IT GUY.

 “WELL, I INVITED HER OVER TO MY PLACE, WE HAD A COUPLE OF DRINKS, WE GOT INTO THE MOOD AND THEN SHE SUDDENLY ASKED ME TO MAKE HER FEEL SPECIAL”

 “YOU’RE KIDDING ME!” SAYS THE SECOND IT GUY.

 “I THEN I LIFTED HER AND PUT HER ON MY DESK NEXT TO MY NEW LAPTOP.”

 “REALLY?  YOU GOT A NEW LAPTOP? WHAT CONFIGURATION?”

 “IT’S A 1 GB RAM AND MOBILE INTERNET CONNECTIVITY CARD AND 180 GB HARDDISK…………”

Ram, a middle aged Indian immigrant in Dallas, Texas bought a brand new convertible Porsche. He took off down the road and pushed it up to 160 MPH and was enjoying the wind blowing through his (thinning) hair.

“This is great,” he thought and accelerated to an even higher speed. But when he eventually looked in his rear-view mirror there was a Ford Crown Victoria Police Car behind him, blue lights flashing.

“I can get away from him with no problem” thought the man and he floored it some more, and flew down the road at over 210 km/ hr to escape being stopped.

Then he thought, what the hell am I doing? “I’m too old for this kind of thing” and pulled over to the side of the road, and waited for the Police car to catch up with him.

The Policeman pulled in behind the Porsche and walked up on the driver’s side.

“Sir, my Shift ends in five minutes and today is Wednesday 22 November a day before Thanksgiving ” If you can give me a good reason that I’ve never heard before as to why you were speeding, I’ll let you go.”

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The man looked back at the Policeman and said, “Last week my wife ran off with an American Policeman and I thought you were bringing her back”.

The Policeman said, “Have a nice day, sir”

Thought 1

When we are born, our mothers get the compliments and the flowers.

Thought 2

The average man’s life consists of:

Forty years of having his wife ask the same question;

and at the end, the mourners wondering too.

Thought 3
A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, ‘If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.’ The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.

This is the best!!!

Thought 4

The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something. So he announced ‘Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my life..’ Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and continued, ‘My daughter finally, finally returned my credit card to me.’

The whole audience including priest started laughing….

…… But not the poor groom!!!!

Scorpio-The Addict

Below are true descriptions of zodiac signs, with traits from a book written 35 years ago by an astrologist predictions. Read your sign, then forward it on, with your zodiac sign and label on the subject line.

GEMINI - Irresistible

Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good in the you know where… Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE. 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward

VIRGO - The One that Waits

Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted.. Easy to please. The one and only. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

SCORPIO - The Addict

EXTREMELY adorable. Intelligent. Loves to joke. Very Good sense of humor. Energetic. Predict future. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Caring. 4 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

LIBRA - The Lame One

Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! however not the kind of person you wanna mess with … u might end up crying… 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

ARIES - The Liar

Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny. Excellent kisser EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships, Addictive. Loud. 16 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

AQUARIUS - Does It In The Water

Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out. 2 years of bad luck if you do not forward

LEO - The Lion

Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

CANCER - The Cutie

MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak. Spontaneous. Great telling stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to. 12 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

PISCES - The Partner for Life

Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. High appeal. Has the last word. Good to find, hard to keep. Fun to be around.Extremely weird but in a good way. Good Sense of Humor!!! Thoughtful. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. 5 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

CAPRICORN - The Passionate Lover

Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Predict future. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Cool. Loves to own Gemini’s in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart. 24 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

TAURUS - The Tramp

Aggressive. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

SAGITTARIUS - The Promiscuous One

Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone They meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in the you know where..!!! Not the kind of person you wanna mess with- you might end up crying. 4 years of bad luck if you do not forward.