5 Jokes a day Keeps Doctor Away!

CREATE PROCEDURE MyMarriage
BrideGroom Male (25) ,
Bride Female(20) AS
BEGIN
SELECT Bride FROM india_ Brides
WHERE FatherInLaw = ‘Millionaire’ AND Count(Car) > 20 AND HouseStatus =’ThreeStoreyed’
AND BrideEduStatus IN ( B.TECH ,BE ,Degree ,MCA ,MiBA) AND Having Brothers= Null AND Sisters =Null

SELECT Gold ,Cash,Car,BankBalanceFROM FatherInLaw
UPDATEMyBankAccout SETMyBal = MyBal + FatherInLawBal
UPDATEMyLockerSET MyLockerContents = MyLockerContents + FatherInLawGold
INSERT INTOMyCarShed VALUES(’BMW’)
END
GO

Then the wife writes the below query:

DROP HUSBAND;
Commit;

Joe the Software Engineer died suddenly, at the age of 45. He got to the gates of Heaven, and the angel standing there said, “We’ve been waiting a long time for you.” “What do you mean?” he replied. “I’m only 45, in the prime of my life. Why did I have to die now?” “45? You’re not 45, you’re 82,” replied the angel. “Wait a minute. If you think I’m 82, then you have the wrong guy. I’m only 45. I can show you my birth certificate.” “Hold on. Let me go check,” said the angel, and disappeared inside. After a few minutes the angel returned. “Sorry, but our records say you are 82. Looking at the number of hours you billed to your client, you should be 82….

1. Dhoom 17 ready for release.

2. I will play next world cup - Sachin Tendulkar

3. Salman, Vivek and Abhishek attend Aishwarya’s 3rd marriage .

4. Abhi toh Mein jawan hoon - Dev Anand.

5. Petrol Rs.999 / litre (Bata price).

6. Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi completed 2,50,000 episodes & Baa has completed 400yrs.

7. Coach Ganguly resigns, as India is knocked out of World Cup in 1st round after losing to Korea

8. Siddhu launches his own TV channal where he can speak and laugh for the whole day.

9. After giving 49 flop movie in a row himesh reshamiya is coming in hollywood romantic movie sequel titanic 3.

SEVENTEEN:
U LOOK AT THEIR PROFILE/PICTURE CONSTANTLY

SIXTEEN:
WHEN YOUR ON THE PHONE WITH THEM LATE AT NIGHT AND THEY HANG UP, YOU
STILL MISS THEM EVEN WHEN IT WAS JUST TWO MINUTES AGO.

FIFTEEN:
YOU READ THEIR TEXTS or IMS OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

FOURTEEN:
YOU WALK REALLY SLOW WHEN YOU’RE WITH THEM

THIRTEEN:
YOU FEEL SHY WHENEVER YOU’RE/THEY’RE AROUND.

ELEVEN:
WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THEM, YOUR HEART BEATS FASTER AND SLOWER AT THE
SAME TIME

TEN:
YOU SMILE WHEN YOU HEAR THEIR VOICE.

NINE:
WHEN YOU lOOK AT THEM, YOU CAN’T SEE THE OTHER PEOPLE AROUND YOU, All
YOU SEE IS HIM//HER.

EIGHT:
YOU START LISTENING TO SLOW SONGS, WHILE THINKING OF THEM

SEVEN:
THEY’RE ALL YOU THINK ABOUT.

SIX:
YOU GET HIGH JUST FROM THEIR SCENT.

FIVE:
YOU REALlIZE THAT YOU’RE AlWAYS SMILING TO YOURSELF WHEN YOU THINK
ABOUT THEM.

FOUR:
YOU WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THEM, OR ANYTHING TO SEE THEM.

THREE:
WHILE READING THIS, THERE WAS ONE PERSON ON YOUR MIND THE WHOLE TIME…

TWO:
YOU WERE SO BUSY THINKING ABOUT THAT PERSON, YOU DIDN’T NOTICE NUMBER
TWELVE.

ONE:
YOU JUST SCROLLED UP TO CHECK & ARE NOW SILENTLY LAUGHING AT YOURSELF.

————-JANUARY BABY——————–

Attractive personality. sexy. Affectionate Shy and
reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous
and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity.
Sensitive to others. Great kisser. Easily angered.
Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness.
Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up
feelings. Observant and assesses others.If you
repost this in the next 5 mins, you will meet your
new love in 8 days.

———-FEBRUARY BABY ——————–

Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract.
Intelligent and clever. Changing personality.
Attractive. sexiest out of everyone.
Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest
and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves
freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves
aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt.
Gets angry really easily but does not show it.
Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends
but rarely shows it. Horny. Daring and stubborn.
Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp.
Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the
inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous.
Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.
Repost this in 5 mins and you will talk to someone
new and realize that you are a perfect match.

———-MARCH BABY ——————–

Attractive personality. sexy. Affectionate Shy and
reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous
and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity.
Sensitive to others. Great kisser. Easily angered.
Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness.
Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up
feelings. Observant and assesses others.If you
repost this in the next 5 mins, you will meet your
new love in 8 days.

Read the rest of this entry »

Hi

http://www.airtel.com

Just type the above link in IE , then open the site and see the scintillating surprise.

That is not an orkut page but it’s a wedding Card, don’t miss to read even a single alphabet……….